take two

some friends and i went to see Naomi Klein the other night at Town Hall. this post is not going to be about Naomi Klein and her crusade, but if you at all pissed off about the corporate takeover of the world - or at least your own "village", her material is worth looking into. i read her 2000 book, No Logo, in one sitting; i couldn't put it down...

but anyway, one of my friends (who had witnessed my last departure to Korea in 2005) asked me: "what do you hope to get out of this time?" and almost without hesitation, i replied: "it's Korea: Take Two."

in 2005, i left my job running a local anti-hunger coalition. it was a good job. i had a great deal of room to could shape & strengthen the coalition (which i believe i did); i woke up every day knowing that i was making a difference; i got to do what i did best: build partnerships, collaborate with other passionate folks, advocate for good public policy, educate meal providers on program management and food safety, educate the public about hunger & homelessness, and so forth.

but the work was also tiring. during my tenure, the coalition came head-to-head with the Mayor's Office (which tried to shut down the outdoor meal providers). i spent hours on the phone with partners, media, public officials - and then come home exhausted and in tears. sometimes i just didn't understand how people could be so numb to the realities of a homeless individual. it often felt like we were talking about two different things: they were talking about concepts; i was talking about people.

there were other things going on in my life as well: a spiritual reawakening and a relationship with a man. both of these took up a great deal of brain and heart space. i was exhausted all the time.

after failed attempts at couples counseling, and seeing the coalition through the outdoor meal program project, i felt a calling to go to Asia. (to be more specific, i received a rather clear message from God while in silent prayer - but that's a whole other thread, to be or not to be discussed here.) so i gave notice to my job and made preparations to live in Korea for a year or so.

TAKE ONE - my goals were to:
1) reclaim time with God
2) give the relationship space to deepen
3) make/save money (via teaching English) to pay off school loan
4) travel
5) create time for reading and creative writing
6) learn Korean language and culture

i didn't exactly happen as i hoped. a series of unexpected circumstances brought me back to the States after only five months. i was depressed and dejected, with none of the above having been accomplished. in fact, quite the opposite: i started doubting God (again). the relationship was over. i spent most of my three months' wages on flights back and forth to the U.S. i traveled about 10% of what i had planned. i produced a few very cruddy poems in five months. and i suffered a long miserable winter, cocooned in my apartment.

(more to come...)